


if you kissed me

by darthswift13



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Rey and Ben are the biggest nerds in the galaxy, Rivals to Lovers, Spin the Bottle, except with a lightsaber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthswift13/pseuds/darthswift13
Summary: "Just so we’re clear, I’d rather fling myself off the Jedi temple than kiss you, Ben Solo, but...we did agree to play the game."In which rival Padawans Ben Solo and Rey Kenobi have to kiss during a game of spin the lightsaber.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 231





	if you kissed me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peachykeenjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachykeenjellybean/gifts).



> This is an early birthday present for my dear friend [ Jessa](https://twitter.com/darthjessa) <3
> 
> This is very first canonverse fic! I'm both nervous and excited about it. It's kind of a mish-mash of canon and EU lore. Just as in the EU, the no attachments rule isn't a thing anymore in this universe so no one's breaking any Jedi rules here. 
> 
> Thank you so much to [Ashlee](https://twitter.com/softhadesvibes) for beta reading this for me! I hope you guys enjoy this little story :~)

Rey Kenobi was paired with Ben Solo for lightsaber training. _Again._

“Ugh,” Rey groaned, “Why does it have to be _him_?” 

“Because you’re both very skilled and can learn from each other,” Luke insisted. “Besides, your grandfathers used to be such great friends, I don’t see why you two can’t be, too.”

“Really? Because my grandfather told me that while he loved Anakin, he could be obstinate and headstrong and annoying, so I see those traits run in the family,” Rey muttered, folding her arms across her chest.

“My grandfather’s Force ghost doesn’t deign to talk to me like yours does. Must be nice,” Ben snapped back.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you because you’re such a pain in the a — ”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Luke interjected, “Try not to give each other any scars when you’re sparring this time.”

“Can’t make any promises,” Rey said snidely, taking her saber out of its holster and igniting it.

“Same here,” Ben said, his saber making a humming noise as he flicked it on.

***

They had always pushed each other’s buttons. When they were younger, Ben used to try to tug on Rey’s Padawan braid while she was meditating. She would try to remain calm while she floated higher and higher to try to get away from him, but more often than not she would attempt to punch him in the face and end up with lectures from Luke and her grandfather’s Force ghost. 

Ben’s best friend, Kaydel Ko Connix, had long suspected the constant bickering was something more, much to his unending chagrin. 

“I’m just saying, I think you’re just scared to admit you have a huge crush on her, Benjamin,” she told him as they sat down to lunch in the refectory. 

Ben scoffed. “I will literally puke, Kaydel, I swear to the Maker. Also, my name isn’t Benjamin.”

She rolled her eyes as she took a bite of an apple. “You’re so dramatic,” she said, mouth still half-full of fruit, “Which simply confirms my theory that you’re in love with her.”

Ben grimaced. “Don’t be disgusting, Kaydel.”

Kaydel shrugged. “I’m just being honest. You’re literally obsessed with this girl, even if you insist it’s out of hatred — which, by the way, is a very similar emotion to love.”

“Whatever feelings I have toward Rey, they couldn’t be farther from — from _love,”_ he said, like the word itself offended him.

“If you say so, Benjamin.”

Ben sighed irritably. “Once again, my name is not Benjamin, Kaydel.”

“Whatever you say, Benjamin.”

“Have I ever told you you’re my least favorite person?”  
  


“Please, you love me,” Kaydel mumbled through another bite of her apple. “Just like you love Rey. Well, I mean, differently than you love Rey. But either way. You seem to like to act like you hate the people you love.”

“Speaking of love and crushes,” Ben cut in. “How’s Rose?”

Kaydel flushed bright red. “I — I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Please, I see the way you look at her.”

“You know what, I, um — I was supposed to meet Luke for, um, for something — ” she stammered, gathering up her books. “I’ll um, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  
Ben smirked.

“Kaydel and Rose, sittin’ in a tree k-i-s-s —”

The next thing Ben knew, his lunch was being launched into the air before splattering all over his tunic. 

Kaydel raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, a snide smile plastered to her face.

He sighed. “Okay, I probably deserved that.”

“Have a nice day, Benjamin,” she lilted with mock cheerfulness.

***

Ben did not have time to change his tunic before afternoon training, much to Rey’s apparent delight. He could see her suppressing a giggle the moment he walked onto the training grounds, pointing and whispering to her best friend Finn.

Ben felt his face flushing hot with embarrassment, which only grew worse as more and more of the Padawans began to notice. This was definitely the most embarrassing day of his life.

And then, as if his day couldn’t get any worse, he got paired to spar with Rey. _Again_. 

“What happened to your shirt there, Ben?” Luke asked.

“It’s a long story,” he muttered, shooting an irritated glance at Kaydel, who just grinned at him smugly.

Rey suppressed another giggle.

  
“It isn’t funny,” he mumbled.

“No, you’re right, it’s kriffing _hysterical_ ,” Rey taunted. “I guess that’s what you get for being such an insufferable pompous asshole.”

“Watch it, or next time you’re in the refectory you might end up wearing your lunch, too.”

Rey smirked as she ignited her saber. “Is that a threat, Solo?”

His saber flashed on, a shimmering blue that contrasted the sunshine yellow of Rey’s weapon.

“Maybe it is,” he said sharply.

“I’d like to see you try,” Rey hissed back as she lunged forward with her saber, but he immediately blocked the blow. “If you so much as _think_ about trying that, you’ll end up with a nice little scar on the opposite side of your face to match the first one I gave you.”

“Is that so— ”

Luke walked by just as she was saying this. He probably sensed her growing irritation in the Force.

“Rey, we’ve talked about this,” he cut in.

She sighed. “Yes, yes, I know, anger is a path to the dark side.”

“You’re not on Jakku anymore. You don’t have to constantly be on the defensive. No one here is trying to hurt you, and my nephew certainly isn’t — even if he does like to give you a hard time. So why don’t you try this again. Take a deep breath. Feel the Force flowing through you.”

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I am one with the Force and the Force is one with me,” she murmurs to herself. 

She feels herself starting to get centered again, but then a voice cuts into her mind.

_She might be annoying, but she is very pretty. Especially her freckles._

Rey snapped her eyes open. “Who said that?”

Luke and Ben gave her a wary look.

“No one said anything, Rey,” Luke said slowly.

“I — right — sorry, anyway —” She raised her saber again. “Shall we, um, shall we continue?”

Ben looked at her like she had lost her mind, and Luke gave her a quizzical look as he walked away to observe Finn and Kaydel. 

_What the kark just happened?_

***

Later that night, Rey heard a knock at her dormitory door.

When she walked over to the doors and they slid open, she saw Kaydel Ko Connix standing there clutching a bottle of Corellian wine.

“We’re having a little party in the common area — care to join us?”

“ _Kaydel_ , Luke would kill us if he found out,” Rey whispered, looking from side to side down the hallway.

“What Master Luke doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Kaydel said, rolling her eyes. “C’mon, don’t such a goodie-two-shoes, Kenobi.”

Rey sighed. “I guess one little sip of wine wouldn’t hurt.”

Kaydel grinned. “That’s the spirit.”

***

As they walked to the common area together, Rey started fidgeting nervously.

“Everything alright there, Kenobi?”

“I just — had kind of a weird experience today. I think — I think it was something with the Force, but I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just — there was this moment when I heard this voice out of nowhere and it was really vivid and clear but no one else said they heard anything.”

Kaydel gave her a quizzical, wary look that was not unlike the ones Luke and Ben gave her earlier.

“Uh...” Kaydel started to say. “That, um...that’s certainly...interesting. Have you told Luke about it?”

Rey shook her head. “I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or something.”

“But if it _is_ something with the Force, Luke would know about it, right?”  
  


“Maybe. I don’t know. It was really weird.”

“I think you should talk to Luke about it. He can help you with it. I mean, hopefully it’s not anything dark or something like that.”

“I mean, whatever it is, I definitely don’t think it’s dark in nature.”

Kaydel’s face scrunched up in thought. 

“What exactly did you hear, Rey?”

Just as she asked this, Rey and Kaydel reached the common area of the dormitories where Rose, Finn, and Ben were already sitting in a circle.

“Ugh, Kaydel, you didn’t tell me _he_ was going to be here,” Rey muttered irritably, shooting a glance at Ben.

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about,” Kaydel snapped back. “Besides, he’s not such a bad guy if you really get to know him, and tonight is the perfect opportunity to do just that.”

“If you say so,” Rey mumbled.

She sat down between Rose and Finn, and Kaydel took a seat next to Ben. 

“Glad you made it,” Finn said to Rey with a smile. 

“You owe me five credits by the way,” Rose said to Kaydel.

“Wait, what?” Rey asked.

Kaydel sighed. “I bet her five credits you were too much of a goodie-two-shoes to come to our party.”

Rey scoffed. “I am _not_ a goodie-two-shoes.”

“Please, you and Benjamin here are the two biggest nerds in the whole kriffing galaxy.”

“Once again, my name isn’t Benjamin,” Ben mumbled under his breath.

“I am not a goodie two shoes and I’ll prove it — pass me the wine, if you please, Kaydel,” Rey said primly.

Kaydel smirked and did as Rey asked. Rey untwisted the top and took a large swig, but then she scrunched up her face in disgust, shuddering as she swallowed the caustic beverage.

“ _Maker_ , that’s _vile_.”

“Hmm, I take it you’ve never had wine before,” Kaydel teased. “Because you’re a goodie-two-shoes.”

“Hey, leave her alone,” Finn cut in. “You okay, Rey?” he asked, turning to check on his friend.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rey muttered irritably, a tiny hiccup and burp escaping her lips as she handed the bottle of wine back to Kaydel.

Kaydel took a large swig and then cleared her throat dramatically. “ _Anyways_ , I have an idea for a fun game.”

“What’s that, Kay?” Rose chimed in enthusiastically.

Kaydel smirked. “Spin the lightsaber.”

“What’s spin the lightsaber?” Ben asked.

Kaydel rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, why am I best friends with such a _nerd?”_

“I’m not a nerd, Kaydel. I was just asking a question.”

“Would someone care to illuminate my dork of a best friend as to what spin the lightsaber is?”

“It’s like spin the bottle, right?” Finn chimed in. 

“What’s that?” Ben asked.

“ _Maker_ ,” Kaydel muttered, taking another swig of the wine. “You’re so lucky you’re friends with me or you would never do anything but practice writing with your calligraphy set like the huge kriffing nerd you are.”

“So is anyone going to tell me what that is or what?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, because I don’t know either,” Rey grumbled.

“By the Maker, you two are a perfect match,” Kaydel muttered under her breath.

“What was that?” Ben asked.

“Nothing, Benjamin, darling,” Kaydel said with a sigh. “Anyway, spin the lightsaber is when you spin a lightsaber and then whoever it lands on, you have to kiss,” she explained with a smirk.

Rose suppressed a giggle, clapping her hand over her face. “Oh, that sounds kinda fun.”

“I thought so, too. So are you guys in?” Kaydel asked.

“I mean, sure, why not,” Finn replied.

“I don’t know...” Rey started to say.

“Yeah, it might be weird...” Ben added.

Kaydel rolled her eyes. “Of course the goodie-two-shoes nerds don’t want to play.”

“We’re not nerds,” Rey and Ben insisted at the same time.

“Then prove it,” Kaydel countered. “And play the game with us.”

“Fine, I’m in,” Ben muttered. “Can I have a sip of that wine, by the way?”

“Of course,” Kaydel replied cheerfully, handing the bottle to Ben.

“So are you in or what, Rey? I mean, if you’re really uncomfortable I won’t force you to play, it’s fine, you can just watch.”

“No, I want to play,” Rey said firmly. 

Kaydel grinned. “Excellent. I’ll go first then,” she said, taking her lightsaber out of its holster, placing it in the middle of the circle and giving it a spin. 

It landed on Rose, and both girls turned bright red.

“I — ” Kaydel stammered, uncharacteristically nervous.

Rose giggled. “I mean, the lightsaber landed on me, so I guess we have to, um...you know — but um... you should know, I’ve never actually kissed a girl before.”

A hint of Kaydel’s typical bravado flickers back. “Well, luckily for you, _I_ have,” she said as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Rose’s.

“Oh my,” Rose said quietly when Kaydel pulled away.

“Yeah,” Kaydel said breathlessly, blushing.

Ben leaned over and muttered in Kaydel’s ear, “Kaydel and Rose, sitting in a tree — ” and Kaydel elbowed him sharply, not taking her eyes off Rose. She leaned forward again and whispered something in Rose’s ear, and Rose nodded, giggling and blushing. Kaydel grinned, the pink flush on her cheeks deepening.

“Anyway, um...Rey, I think you should go next,” Kaydel said.

“I, um— okay,” Rey said. “Can I, um, can I have more wine first, though?” 

“Absolutely,” Kaydel said, handing the bottle to Rey.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Rey took another swig, wincing again as she swallowed. “ _Force_ , that truly is disgusting. But anyway.” Rey took a deep breath, reached forward, and spun the lightsaber.

It landed on Finn, and Rey giggled.

“Guess I have to kiss you.”

“Guess so.”

Without closing her eyes, Rey leaned forward and pressed her lips to Finn’s for a fraction of a second. She pulled away and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

“I love you, Finn, but that was gross and weird. Let’s not ever do that again.”

Finn laughed. “Agreed.”

“Looks like it’s your turn, Benjamin,” Kaydel said as she nudged the lightsaber toward him.

“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, and he reached forward to spin the saber.

It landed on Rey.

He drew in a sharp breath. Why oh why did it have to be _her_?

To his endless chagrin, Kaydel grinned and leaned over to whisper in his ear, “Rey and Ben, sitting in a tree — ”

Ben shot Kaydel an annoyed glance.

“Just so we’re clear, I’d rather fling myself off the Jedi temple than kiss you, Ben Solo, but...we did agree to play the game.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he shot back, “But...you’re right we did...we did agree to play the game, so — ”

“So...”

Rey squeezed her eyes shut, leaned forward, and kissed him. And it was immediately so very different from kissing Finn. His lips felt soft and warm and— 

There it was again. The voice.

_This isn’t terrible, this is actually...kind of nice. Really nice. Kriff._

Rey pulled back and opened her eyes. She realized she was blushing. They both were. There was a long, tense silence, before Ben said to Kaydel, “Can I, um, have some more of that wine, Kaydel? Just so I can hopefully erase the memory of how horrible that was.”

Rey scoffed. “Was kissing me really _that_ horrible?”

“Yes,” he said matter-of-factly. “Yes, it was.”

“Screw you, Ben Solo,” Rey muttered, standing up.

“Rey, c’mon, he didn’t mean that,” Kaydel insisted.

“Oh, I absolutely did.”

Kaydel shot her best friend an irritated glance.

“It’s past my bedtime anyway. So goodnight everyone. I should’ve never come to this stupid party,” Rey grumbled.

“Rey, wait— ” Kaydel started to say.

***

Later that night, Rey woke with a start. And found Ben Solo standing in the middle of her dorm room.

She sat up, pulling her covers around herself. “What are you doing here?”  
  


“I could ask you the same question.”

“Excuse me, but you’re in _my_ room, Ben Solo.”

“Wait, what? We’re outside by the training grounds. You’re sitting on the stone wall, though inexplicably you’re wrapped in a blanket.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about because I’m literally sitting in my bed right now.”

“I think...I think I’ve read about this before,” Ben said quietly, brows furrowing in concentration as if he’s trying to remember something. 

“Read about _what?_ What is happening right now?”

“I think...I think the Force is connecting us somehow.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, utterly bewildered.  
  


“I — I don’t know exactly what’s happening or how, but I know I’m outside and you’re in your room, but somehow we can see each other. Can you see my surroundings at all?”

“No, I can’t, it literally looks like you’re in my room right now.”

“Well, I’m not. If you came out to the training grounds, you would see me here.”

“And you can’t see my surroundings?”

“No...just you,” he said softly. “Like I said, you’re sitting on a stone wall in the training grounds.”

“This is bizarre.”

“I know.”

“Why is the Force connecting me with _you_ of all people?”

“Trust me, I’m not thrilled about it either,” he muttered.

“Is there anyway to like...make it _stop_?” Rey asked, exasperated.

“I mean, if it’s the will of the Force to connect us like this, I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it.”

“You know, I never thought I’d hate the Force...” Rey sighed. “So how long is this going to last?”

  
“I have no idea.”

“Great. Well, um...I’m, like...half-dressed right now so could you, um...could you, like, turn around or something so I can put more clothes on?”

Ben blushed. “Oh, right. Sure.” And then he did as she asked and turned around.

She let her blanket fall to the ground and quickly scurried to find her tunic.

“If you peak I will literally murder you, Ben Solo.”

“Oh, I’ve no doubt of that,” he said with a chuckle. “I promise I won’t look.”  
  


“Good,” she said as she fished her tunic off the floor and pulled it over her head. “You can turn around now.”

When he turned around he let his eyes linger on her for a long moment.

  
“What?” she muttered.

“Nothing it’s just...your hair is all mussed up.”

Rey instinctively went to smooth it out, her cheeks turning red. “Shut up, Ben Solo.” There was a long, awkward silence. “Um...what are you doing outside in the middle of the night, anyway?”

“It’s...a long story,” Ben said with a sigh.

“Well, unfortunately, it would seem that I have time.”

“I have trouble sleeping,” he admitted.

Rey frowned. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah,” he said, digging the toe of his boot into the ground and shoving his hands in his pockets. “I just feel lonely here a lot of the time. Kaydel is a great friend and all, but I feel like she doesn’t really understand me. I feel like no one here does.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I — ” Ben sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t really like to talk about it.”

“Oh,” Rey said quietly. “Well, if you wanted to tell me, I would listen...it’s not like I have anything better to do, I mean.”

“You’re kind of the last person in the galaxy I’d want to open up to. No offense,” he muttered.

“Well, do you have any other alternative right now?”

“I guess not,” he said with a sigh. “I just...my parents sent me away. They were scared of how powerful I was getting, and they didn’t know what to do with me. Plus, they’re both really busy. My mom’s a Galactic Senator and all. I was basically raised by droids, one of which tried to kill me but that’s a whole other story. I’m fine now, I guess. I don’t know. They don’t send holos or visit or anything. And that’s part of why I’m so competitive with Jedi training because I just hope if I do a good job here maybe I’ll make them proud. But I feel like nothing I ever do is good enough.”

There was a long silence before Rey finally spoke. “Wow,” she said quietly, “I — I had no idea, Ben. I’m so sorry. Now I wish I had been helping you instead of constantly trying to best you.”

He chuckled. “It’s fine. I think the way you’ve constantly challenged me has helped me a lot. Though I could’ve done without the scar on my face.”

“Sorry about that,” Rey muttered.

“Don’t be,” he said with a smile. “I underestimated you. I won’t make that mistake again. Also...can I tell you something, Rey?”

“Anything.”

“I didn’t actually hate kissing you. I actually really, really liked it.”

“Actually, I — this is going to sound crazy — but I think — somehow — I heard what you were thinking when you were kissing me? And I heard what you were thinking in training earlier too. You thought — you thought I was pretty. And that you liked my freckles,” Rey said, blushing.

“Oh, varp, you heard that?”

“Yeah,” she said softly.

“Kriff,” he muttered, turning bright red, his eyes darting to the ground.

Rey smiled and took a step toward him, reaching for his hand.

“Oh,” they both said in unison.

“That’s interesting,” Ben said, “You can touch me even though we’re not actually in the same physical space. Fascinating. Anyway, um...” His eyes meet hers for a long moment, and then he seems to snap out of a reverie. “I think I heard your thoughts too, when you kissed me. You — you thought my lips felt soft and warm.”

Rey’s blush deepened. “Well, they did,” she mumbled.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“Can I kiss you again, Rey?”

She looked up at him and smiled.

  
“I would love that, Ben Solo.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. [ Star Wars Insults and Expletives ](https://www.liveabout.com/star-wars-insults-and-expletives-2958001)  
> 2\. [ Refectory](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jedi_Temple_refectory)  
> 3\. [ Jedi Academy](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jedi_academy)  
> 4\. [Padawan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Padawan)


End file.
